Letters From Bad Santa!

Have you been naughty or nice this year?
Check yourself against Santa's handy chart!

Nice Naughty Naughtiest
Giving Santa some cookies. Giving Santa some bourbon. Giving Santa the finger.
Calling your mom. Calling your mom collect. Calling your mom for phone sex.
Getting Dad's slippers for him. Telling Dad to get his own damn slippers. Leaving a steaming present in Dad's slippers.
Opening a door for a woman. Opening a door for a woman, then sneaking a peek at her butt. Opening a door for a woman, then demanding sex in return.
Bake cookies for the less fortunate. Play hooky with the less fortunate. Make dookie on the less fortunate.
Helping an old lady across the street. Crossing in front of an old lady in the street. Giving an old lady a piggyback ride in the middle of a freeway and filming the whole thing for Jackass.
Taking chicken soup to a sick friend. Giving avian flu to a sick friend. Choking the chicken with a drunk friend.
Making a donation to a charity. Making a donation to Tom Delay. Masturbating in a bank, then claiming you were trying to make a donation to a sperm bank.

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